Ep 19: Super Dungeon Explorers

October 23, 2017

In the depths of the keep, the party can hear Keggy's cries for help. Rushing to his aid they sneak down the hallway and steal the keys to free him from the dungeon. However, Keggy ruins it all by sprinting for freedom as soon as the door is unlocked.

What would the party be if they weren't killing guards every so often, so they butcher the prison guards and set off down into the depths of the dungeon to find whatever is absorbing the stream of magic from below. Cautiously they approach the growing sense of arcane energy, Portlang guides them down further and further until finally they arrive at a huge round chamber, a glass dome dominates the floor and a obscenely fat Beholder rolls himself about the floor eating loose bits of arcane energy.

Zeek is enthralled by the majesty of the Beholder, climbing to the highest point and asking Portland to make her fly and as she soar through the air she played the heaviest riffs she knew. Red light bathed the area as she weaved every bit of magic at her disposal into her song. She had befriended the Beholder, swearing allegiance to him and offering to serenade him for all eternity. As Keggy approachd, the beholder grew wary of the adventurers but the offer of free beer was too great to ignore. As Keggy loosened the valve on his spigot a horrible burning brew spewed forth and melted the Beholder's tongue. Roaring in rage he attacked the party, but the trap was set and the heroes fell upon the monster with reckless abandon.

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Ep 18: Castle Crashers

October 16, 2017

The ruins of the Daemon city come crashing down on the parties heads as they flee the crumbling catacombs beneath the surface. Torg cuts down everyone he finds, mostly women and children. Scarmbling to the surface and climbing out of a manhole in the road, the party expects to see a huge pillar of magic tearing through the central keep of the capital. However there is simply daylight and the business of a city recovering from a 'natural' disaster.

Using a fragment of the heart as the catalyst, Portland sense where the magic is heading if not straight through the roof of the keep. Locating through arcane means some sort of magic dampener depe in the dungeons of the keep, the party formulates a plan.

Keggy will make a distraction as Portland begins a ritual to turn everyone invisible, sneaking past the guards as Keggy sprouts forth beer for the masses. The party descends into the depths of the keep, using portland as an arcane compass.

As they reach what they believe is the bottom level they hear shouts from above, it appears Keggy ran out of beer and the drunken mob are locking him up in the dungeon. Before the party stands to massive guards clad head to toe in plate mail and wielding massive glaives.

Do they go rescue their buddy or try take on these silent sentinels without their good mate Keggy?

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Ep 17: Heart Breakers & Life Takers

October 10, 2017

Another session, another change of heart.

The heroes attempt to bluff their way into the Daemon city in an attempt to meet with the king, when the king denies them an audience they try to sneak off and investigate the depths of the demon realm. After being caught they bluff their way through offering Yimm as a sacrifice to power the Daemonheart.

As she is escorted down in the depths of the catacombs, the party looks on in horror as she is chained to a pulsating heart full of magical energy that appears to made of glass. Combat breaks out as the heroes begin attacking the king and priestesses conducting the ritual, Yimm lands a massive critical hit on the heart nearly smashing it in a single blast but Torg throws Keggy into the heart to destroy it.

As energy surges towards the surface the party realises they maybe made a mistake and didn't think this through. What is happening on the surface now the heart has been shattered? How long until the Daemons wither and die out? Where did all the magic come from? What crazy half-baked plan will they come up with next week during episode 18?

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Ep 16: Raiding the Raiders

October 3, 2017

Drenched in vile blood and a little bit shook after their confrontation with the Hezrou, the party seeks to discuss their message and warning with the Capital's leaders. After saying their goodbyes they break into an abandoned Noble's house who clearly fled during the chaos and spend the night. Resting and recovering. As usual Yimm is up to mischief the entire time.

 

In the moring they return to the keep, finding it hs been setup as a base of operations by a General Gordaren, a gruff and stoic Dwarven commander. He advises the party that they help or get out of his damn way. Eager to earn his trust and a council with the Mages who help rule the Capital, they set off down the sewers to raid the Daemon city that lies beneath.

Down their they find their way back to the undercity, before entering they are confronted by a hooded figure wielding a huge sword, a sharkliek face with pale blue skin and a single golden right eye,it's left eye permanently blinded by the curved hown growing out of it. The figure warns he is one of many daemonic swordsman guarding the entrances to the city against the planned raids, and that the adventurer's ahve betrayed the trust of the king, they are denied entry.

Instead of risking a fight with a formidable opponent they decide to prove their loyalty, they set off to kill a raiding party and bring back the heads of the mortals as an offering. They set off down the winding tunnels in search of the slaughter, before long they found a unit of soldiers set upon by a blindingly fast daemonic swordswoman. After the butcher of yet more soldiers in the sewers, which is becoming a pattern of behaviour, the daemon woman identified herself as Kellandrix, the sister of the swordsman they met moments ago.

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Ep 15: A Change of (Daemon)Heart

September 26, 2017

As the city burns, guilt sets in. Tormented with the thought of all these innocent people dying, the party decides to warn everyone that they should flee the flames that were100% totally definitly started by the Daemons. To illustrate their point and the urgency at which everyone must flee they light more fires whilst casting illusions that make the city appear to be under attack...

The heroes rush to warn the leaders of the capital that they need to rally the people and flee the city, they are halted by guards at checkpoints. Bluffing or flat out bullying their way through they arrive at the central keep but no one is taking them seriously.

A hulking red figure covered in spikes and talons appears as they explain the imminent threat, saliva dripping from an impossibly wide maw filled with razorsharp teeth. Portland warns everyone that this fould Daemon is called a Hezrou and that magic will be weak against it. They watch in horror as it shoves 2 guardsmen into its mouth and crunching them down like Torg eats potato chips... Making uncomfortable eye contact with everyone as it licks its putrid lips.

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Ep 14: Kill It With Fire… Again

September 19, 2017

Surrounded by the rapidly cooling bodies of the murdered men and their waifus, the party tried to play it off cool. Deciding to visit the the Daemon King again and see if they can't work out an alternative solution to this whole messy business.

After convincing the Daemon King they can 'totes Dalaran this whole thing' the party agreed to organise a meeting between the Daemons and the Mortals living in the capital. When they reemerged from the sewer however they got caught in some nasty business with the guards.

Doing what they do best, the party tried to bumble their way through negotiations before eventually deciding to kill the guards. After their questionable ethics result in the deaths of a dozen or so good honest guards and the near death experience of Yimm, the party decides it's time to flee as the city goes up in flames. 

Ep 13: Wizards, Warriors & Waifus

September 13, 2017

Climbing out of the stanky ass sewer smelling like complete ass, the party finds themselves in the market square of the Capital. The crowd is shocked and disgusted as the heroes clamber out of the manhole in the road, forgetting where they areand the proximity to others, the party casually begins discussing the potential murder of everyone in the city within earshot of many vendors and their customers.

To distract from their mistake Yimm shoots a firework into the air, causing mass hysteria and further solidifying she is apart of the Daemon host come to destroy the Capital. Quick thinking by Proffesor Portland sneaks the party inside a very illustous establishment known as 'Releasing Yourself'. Further reckless behaviour by Yimm see's the building go up in flames not long after they booked a room as well she succsesfully angered another mob of citizens with her Daemonic powers.

Realising their is no way out of this, the party attempts to sneak back into the sewers hopwever Torg & Yimm are spotted. The party is 'forced' to butcher 15 or so wealthy, cultured gentleman and their bodypillows as the mob seeks justice against the Daemon Warlock who is ruining their way of life.

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Ep 12: Bonerville - Population: ZERO

September 7, 2017

After Keggy's near death experience, his powers abandoned him. Now he walks the path of the Warrior, hefitng his massive fucking hammer onto his shoulder he leads the party onwards to the capital city of Aves.

When they finally arrive they see that parts of Aves are burning, thick smoke plumes from many rooftops and the city is in a general state of chaos. The guards are very untrusting of Yimm, claiming that she is a Daemon who is apart of the recent attacks on the city. After questionable persuasion and use of dark magic, she is finally allowed in. The scene before the party is madness, their is a heavy curse upon Aves as now all the men of various races are unable to get erections unless a Daemon gives it to them.

This has lead to panic, fear of being 'bred out' by the Infernal attacks as well as the brothel business nearly shutting down completely. The party heads down underground into the complex sewer system to investigate since thats where it is claimed the Daemons came from. But down in that darkness they are confronted with something they never saw coming...

Where did all the boners go? Are the Daemons really behind it? What class will Keggy be next episode?

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Ep 11: Hello Kitty Forest Adventure

August 16, 2017

Realising that the heroes have overstayed their welcome, they head off continuing their trip towards the capital. After a few hours travel, a small disturbance makes itself known in the bushes near the road. Naturally the party goes to investigate. What they find is a small, scared, juveline Displacer Beast, lost and alone in the forest. Seeing it as a sign, Keggy snatches up the Displacer Kitten after a breif scrap to try and make beer out of it, against the advice of his spiritual mentor Kegyatta.

Understandably the kitten didn't want to be made into beer, and before long when the party rests an angry mother comes looking for its child, realising they have perhaps bitten off more they can chew the party argues with keggy that he should return the kitten to it's mother. Stubbornly Keggy refuses to give up the kitten, it's already cost him his place in the brotherhood will it cost him his life?

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Ep 10: BOSS FIGHT!

August 9, 2017

Learning of the town's sinister plan to appease their overlord with the sacrifice of adventurers, the Brutal Fluffy Chuggers plan how best to tackle the sticky situation they find themselves in. Realising they need allies they head back into town eager to recruit an army from the remaining competitors found in the town, but in classic brutal fashion decide not to tell them what they are even doing.

The heroes decide to host a concert and a moshpit in the cave under the guise of a final chalice returning ceremony, but things get carried away as they always do and they forget why they are even here. After a long time of rocking out they hear a roar and a screech, when they go to check what has happened they find the town in flames, much of it already reduced to ash.

Can the Brutal Fluffy Chuggers save the day again? Or has their questionable morals brought an end to this town and everyone in it?

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